I have 5 kids. Each kid has a different personality and temperament. Some are what we might call “high-maintenance”. With 4 daughters the word “drama queen” has been used on occasion in the Post household. What is interesting (or painful) is when the personality of one of those kids rubs against your personality. It’s a perfect opportunity to show grace to your offspring, but sometimes you just blow it don’t you?
Maybe you don’t. But I do! That kid gets under my skin with an attitude, idea or action and I blow it. I hate it when the words from my tongue follow the anger in my head and gets ahead of the love in my heart and I say things I later regret. It’s in those moments of guilt and regret that you think “I deserve the worst parent award today”. If you’re a parent, you’ve been there. I didn’t know there were so many things to feel guilty about until I became a mom.
But here’s the thing, parenthood is a fabulous and wonderful gift. It’s an incredible responsibility and Satan will attack us in that most sacred duty. He wants to drive wedges in our family and then he wants to beat us over the head with guilt. It’s his M.O. Tempt you to sin and then guilt you when you do. It’s classic spiritual warfare. But we tend to think of Satan as a spiritual being that goes after us in church and makes us have flat tires and such, but forget that He may be in your kitchen and in your kids room and at the dinner table.
So what do we do with this? Kick him out of your house! Pay attention. In the moment when your tongue is in overdrive ahead of your heart, stop and realize what is happening. Will we just hand that relationship with our child or spouse over to Satan’s wiles? Will we let him win? We don’t have to. Pay attention. Recognize it for what it is and stop it in its tracks.
But lets say you do blow it……..as I have done several times this week. If you let Satan guilt you then he’s beat you twice. How about this……..go tell your kid you’re sorry. Tell them you where wrong. Tell them you sinned. Ask for their forgiveness. Tell them you love them. In doing this, you teach your kids how to say I’m sorry and ask for forgiveness. You model for them the way to correct a mistake and have a humble heart. You show them how to fight for a relationship. You give them a chance to extend grace to another human being. This is a skill they will need to be successful in life, so let God redeem your mistakes and sins and use them to be a learning tool for your kids instead of something Satan beats you with.
We often say kids are impervious to things and think they aren’t bothered by our actions. This is not true. As kids with us being the adults they have little power to do anything about the hurt they feel. So it festers. Showing them love by asking for their forgiveness can stop that hurt and bring healing. We can’t take back the hard words we say to them, but we sure don’t need to pretend like they didn’t happen. Make it right with God. Make it right with your kid. This makes you a real mom. One God can use. And one your kids can look up to.