Oswald Chambers said to not “doubt in the dark what God has shown you in the light.” It’s easy to do. We love the light. We love the closeness we feel to God when things are peaceful and rosy, but in the dark nights when life is turned upside down we panic, doubt, fret or even despair. It is our nature. But God’s grace is sufficient to cast out all panic, doubt and fear (2 Corinthians 12:9). But we need to remember who we (God’s very own) and who God is (He holds the whole world in the palm of His hand) and that He can sustain us through the trial.
Autism keeps my daughter, Cadence, in her own version of darkness and has threatened to consume us as her family. My other children have to make sacrifices and live with some things that other kids don’t. One thing I have grieved for the past decade is the “normal” family outing. I guess there’s no such thing as normal. It’s really only a setting on the dryer, but we paint pictures of how we want things to look. For many years she simply couldn’t handle going places like restaurants, the store, the movies, or church. We’ve walked out of more places than you can imagine. We finally gave up. So typically Dad (aka Mr. Fun) takes the other kids to stuff and I stay home with Cadence. It’s easy to feel sorry for yourself when you think you’re missing something.
But here’s what I always say, “IT IS WHAT IT IS!” But can I believe that? Can I just accept what it is and trust that God will meet me in those dark places? Can I accept that His plan doesn’t mean I’m missing something, but that I’m right where I need to be so He can show me something. Can I remember the confidence and faith I knew when I was in the light to help me through the dark place? I love the light. Not crazy about the dark. But it has a purpose. And in the dark spots of this journey I have seen God face to face. If you look for Him in your dark place you will find Him too.
But let me encourage you that all things come to an end. Or at least have short breaks. Even if the dark road you are on looks like there is no end in sight, it won’t last forever. It may certainly last longer than you want, but not forever. And more importantly, God is walking with you. Here’s how I know this. Our family went together to the circus last night. I Know ya’ll think our lives ARE a circus, but I’m talking about a Ringling Bro. spectacular. And we didn’t leave Cadence behind. We thought we would be brave/crazy and try it to see what would happen and She. LOVED. It. I’m not sure if she loved it more or if I loved it more watching her love it! I think I win.
The circus may not be a big deal to most, but it was huge to us. My husband and I were together with our kids and nobody had to get up and leave and we didn’t throw money down the drain on unused tickets. It was loud and crazy and insane and she pulled it off happily. It was an evidence that God has not forgotten. That there is a light at the end of the tunnel. That His grace is sufficient. That He sees us and cares. That every detail matters. That I am not alone. That JOY is His desire for us and that He wants to bless.
Whatever you are going through. Whatever dark place you are in. Know that God sees, cares, and is with you. To be sure, our road still has many challenges, as may yours, but a nice oasis, a glimmer of light along the way, is God’s blessing. Recognize it for what it is and give Him all the glory. Great things He has done.