I have been following a friend’s posts on FB lately. She has 2 different friends whose husbands have had major complications from the flu. This week they both passed away. From the flu! It’s unbelievable. I don’t know these families or what they think of God, but I wondered as I was praying for them this morning…..if they don’t know God personally, then what might they think of Him now?
You may have seen it happen to someone or it has happened to you, but when tragedy strikes we question everything and at the top of the list is God’s name. I’ve been there. When my daughter was diagnosed with Autism it was devastating. Mind you, she was developing normally, talking, engaged, bright and it’s as though someone flipped a switch. It all went away and she started going backwards. She lost every word she had and all these years later she still doesn’t talk. It’s sad on many levels, but early on the sleepless nights were rough. She forgot how to sleep and could go days with no rest and I remember one night about 2:30am I was up with her and I had just had it. Not with her. With God. How could He have done this to us.
I let Him have it with all I had. I’m not proud of that moment, I’m just being honest here. I was desperate. I was desperate for an answer. For hope. For something to change. For sleep. For a way to make sense of it. I railed at Him and told Him exactly what I thought about all this mess and in doing so, I hit the bottom. But here’s what I found there that I want to share with all of you. As a desperate woman, mom and wife, what I was most desperate for was God’s grace. And at the bottom. At the end of my rope, He showered it on me.
Here’s the thing about faith. It’s faith.
You have to jump all in. You can’t hold back. Either you believe God is good or you don’t. If you do, then when the bitter blows of life come you will find the grace you need to shoulder the burden, to not break under the pressure, to keep getting out of bed and to take the next breath. If you are a child of God and you doubt His goodness then none of life will ever make sense. Because life doesn’t make sense. It hurts and it’s mean and sometimes you feel like your heart can’t take one more thing. And God doesn’t seem to be listening. In those moments if you doubt His goodness then you will be buried under the burdens and hurts of life. You will lose sight. You can’t carry on.
Understand, I’m not saying we don’t ever ask God what He’s doing. I have plenty. But His answer is always to trust and that He is always good. My response is to believe.
Do you have children? Have you ever withheld something from your child because you knew it was best to do so? Have you ever allowed your child to go through something tough because you knew it was best? Why do you do that? Because you’re crazy about that kid and want them to grow up to be the best they can. Do they like it when you do that? Nope. They don’t like it. They don’t understand. They think you’re being unfair, mean, etc. But you are the parent and they are the kid and you know more than them and they need to trust you, right? Friends, God is the parent and we are the kid and He knows more and we need to trust Him.
It’s easier said than done. It’s a journey. But don’t get stuck on the path. Seek truth and you will find it. Here’s the truth. Above all the things you are desperate for, you are desperate for God’s grace. He has plenty to spare and wants to shower it on you. Trust. Trust. Believe He is good. He is good and is working for your good.
I started writing this blog for a reason. I had read the story of a mom who tried to kill her teenage Autistic daughter. It broke my heart. This woman was desperate. I’m not judging her. I know why she did what she did. It was so wrong, but I can see how she was at the end of her rope. You can read that story here if you want. She was desperate. She needed God’s grace. This is what I know: without God’s grace her story could be mine. Without God’s grace I would be in constant despair. But with His grace, I know peace and joy. But it didn’t come until I surrendered my will to His and trusted Him with the outcome. When I stopped trying to hang on tightly to how I thought things should be and opened my hands to receive what He gave. He gave me a challenging road. He gave me what I need. His goodness and grace meet me where I am.
I desperately want you to know and understand this grace. God is good. Does He give us hard tasks? Absolutely. And if anyone ever told you that God doesn’t give you more than you can bear, they are wrong. That’s NOT what the Bible says. I’ve known this for a long while, but just read a great blog about that by Kayla Lemmon if you want to learn more.
Life is hard. It is bigger than us. It’s more than we can handle. And that makes us desperate. But the thing we are most desperate for is grace. And unlike so many things in life that we want or need, God’s amazing grace is ALWAYS within our reach.
May you experience it first hand today sweet friends. And if I can pray for you in any way, it would be my honor.