Beginning again. And again. And again…Post-it Note #40

We are one week in to the new year.  How’s those resolutions coming along?  I saw a cartoon the other day where a dog asks another dog, “What exactly is a new years resolution?”  The other dog says, “It’s just a to-do list for the first week of January.”  A friend on FB said last week, “May your troubles in 2014 last as long as your resolutions.” 🙂

Resolutions are great… long as we keep them.  When we don’t, they weigh on us.  In 2012 I lost about 35 pounds through Weight Watchers.  I still attend meetings at least once a month to stay on track and not gain that weight back.  Last night was the first meeting of the year.  The place was packed.  The leader said, “It must be the first week of January.”  It’s true.  A new year brings new resolve but in March where will all those people be?

One of my resolutions for the new year was to have fewer and fewer of those “unglued” moments.  You know those moments.  When you just lose it with your family and say something you regret, raise your voice, get mad.  I just want to take things as they come and not be rattled and frazzled, etc. etc.  My resolve was majorly tested yesterday…..

This unusually cold weather we’re having has gotten everything off schedule.  I’m not complaining about the cold.  We have a warm home, food, coats, and there’s really nothing to complain about.  But every time a schedule is off, it’s off, no matter the reason. My crew lives in the South and cold weather is a novelty.  An exciting adventure for my kids because it’s rare.  And we just aren’t equipped for cold the way the North is.  I lived in the North for 5 years and cold, snow, ice….it never slowed anything or anyone down (except for me).  But it throws us into a tail spin down here.

Yesterday was the first day back to school from Christmas break.  That’s a challenge within itself.  But all the schools were on a 2 hour delay.  That meant everyone out of the house at the same time instead of in the normal “shifts”.  To top it off, hubby, who usually takes the kids to school, had a dentist appointment that was planned so that he could drop the kids off and then go to the dentist………but there was a 2 hour delay so he was out of the picture.

I’m herding 5 kids out of the house.  They can’t find socks (because they don’t wear socks!)  They can’t get their fingers in the gloves (because they don’t wear gloves!)  They think the scarves are things to harass their siblings with.  And then one of them discovers that the “pond” is frozen.  I have a little memory garden for our child, Jordan, who is in Heaven.  It has a little pond that is about 3 feet long and 2 feet wide.  4 of the kids are trying to “skate” on the pond while I’m desperately trying to get my autistic daughter to put on some shoes (she is bigger than me and it’s hard to make her do anything that she doesn’t buy into).  I’m trying to make sure the dogs are inside and warm (they are outside dogs and don’t ever need to come in because it never gets this cold).

So my kids want me to take pictures of them “skating” and the girls have all had a bath and I’m trying to get them to come in and dry their hair (that’s another adventure because we don’t normally have to do that either!)  And they are saying, “look Mom, you can see my breath!”  It was sort of comical and cute………..until I finally got them all out to the van with gloves, socks, hats, scarves, heavy coats, and find that the van is dead.  Dead.  Dead.

Hubby started the van early in the morning to make sure it would start.  All was well, so I sent Bow-Wonder out about 15 minutes before we left to warm up the van.  He turned the key, but didn’t actually start the engine.  So the heat is running full blast without the engine going and it killed the battery. Dead. Dead. Dead.  Nothing was cute or comical any more, and my resolution?  What resolution?  Did I take this moment to think, “now here’s an opportunity to show my son some grace and be a great example to my children about how to handle little irritating set backs?”  No.  I did not.  I’m glad you weren’t in my driveway.

And I’m glad you weren’t at my house when I came home from Weight Watchers last night to find my Southern, unaccustomed to the cold, children outside on the front porch with cups of water they were pouring onto the concrete because it was so cool to see it freeze almost instantly.  My children with no socks, no gloves, no scarves.  My children who want to stay outside and be “freezing” so I can make them some homemade hot chocolate to make them warm.  My children who are creating ice because it’s so cool and they can’t believe it.  My children who are creating ice DIRECTLY in front of the door and on the path down the steps.  There’s an entire driveway and feet and feet of sidewalk that we don’t have to walk on, but they are creating ice on the steps and in front of the door and I see a broken arm and ER visit in my future.  Did I take this moment to say, “how fun is this?”  Did I take part in their excitement and fun because it might not be this cold again for another decade?  No.  I did not.  I went and found their father.  And I won’t tell you the rest of that story.

Hopefully your resolutions have lasted longer than mine, but my guess is they have not.  So here’s the deal.  It’s a new day.  Start again.  Resolutions in the New Year happen for a reason.  We see something in ourselves that we want to change.  We want to improve because we need too.  So don’t give up.  Begin again.  But here’s the secret.  Take your resolution to the Lord.  Ask Him how to fulfill it.  Ask Him to work through you.  Ask Him to give you strength.  Because the truth is that most of us don’t have the discipline needed to stick to something for a year.  And most of us won’t change without some real help.  But if we truly want change and we commit it to the Lord He will help us.  We need to take our focus off us and focus on Him if we want to see real change.  See what Psalm 37 says:

Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him and he will do this:

He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn

It’s really not about New Years resolutions.  It’s about seeing the truth and trusting God to help you do the right thing.  Will I come unglued again?  You know I will.  But success doesn’t mean being perfect.  It means making strides.  It means asking for forgiveness if need be.  It means not quitting.  And the more I get it right, the easier it will be.  A 1000 mile walk begins with one step and it is accomplished one step at a time.  If you blow it, get up and begin again.

If you missed my blog on getting a clean slate….everyday, then I hope you will take the time to read it today.  Click here.



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