I’ve been taking a class at the gym called Body Pump. I have a love-hate relationship with it. It’s a weight lifting class that last for an excruciating hour. Sometimes life gets busier than normal and I can’t make it to class. Recently I went back to class after several weeks away. Two days later I feel like someone has filleted my body. Seriously. Can muscles hurt that much from something that is supposed to be good for you? When your 3-year-old tries to climb into your lap and puts her tiny, screwdriver like elbow on your thigh and you scream like you’re giving birth, you know you are sore.
Thankfully with a good nights sleep, the next day is better. I healed while I wasn’t looking and the next time I go to class it’s not too bad afterward. Before I know it I’m not sore at all. I’m stronger. My muscles have repaired and they are better than they were before. My body is getting stronger with each class and I can begin to lift more weight.
Getting strong and lifting weight is something I HAVE to do. Not just a passing interest or an attempt at defying my age. I’m 5’6″ tall. I’m in my 40s. I’m not getting younger or taller. My 10 year daughter who is Autistic is 5’7″ tall and expected to be around 6′ tall. She’s 30 pounds heavier than me. She can get aggressive at times. Not often. But when she does I have to stand in the gap to keep me, her, and everyone else in the family safe. She has very little language. She gets very frustrated with that. She’s going through puberty. It can be dicey sometimes.
I remember clearly the first time she actually tried to hit me with her fists. I cried. She didn’t hurt my body very much, but my heart was broken in two. Things like that shouldn’t happen. The next time she tried it, I defused the situation and I didn’t cry. I just took it in stride. In the meanwhile, I keep going to the gym, lifting weights, reading, taking classes, praying for wisdom, learning how to handle her, how to help her, how to keep things calm.
Dealing with daughter #1….dealing with life, is a lot like that Body Pump class. The first time I went, I thought I was dying afterward. But it didn’t kill me. It made me stronger. You may not have Autism in your world, but you have something. Something that you’re sure you might not survive. Something that makes your heart-break, your life sore.
I’ve lived through enough junk to know that trite and pat answers don’t fix heartache so I won’t even attempt it. The truth is that somethings really do change you forever. I’m convinced that you don’t get over some things, but I’m certain we can get through them. And be stronger.
Some heartaches are like deep muscle pain that hurts all the way to the bone and even the lightest touch in those places can be brutal. But the heart does repair and bring strength with it. I don’t know how, but I know the answer lies in the person of Jesus Christ. He heals and brings strength. Sometimes it seems to happen when we aren’t looking. We wake up one morning and find it doesn’t hurt to breathe anymore. People say time heals all wounds. I think it’s Jesus. He just takes time in doing it.
Here’s what I know: Life is hard. Period. If you breathe you will have a broken heart at some time or another. Here’s what else I know: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” – Psalm 147:3
I also know: “he said to me, ‘My grace is enough for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ So then, I will boast most gladly about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may reside in me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9
And finally, don’t forget: “I am able to do all things through the one who strengthens me.” – Philippians 4:13
Walk in His strength today friends. Even if it hurts. Healing will come and strength will come with it.